Sounds like professional counseling is in order. Find a good therapist for yourself — and avoid the knee jerk reaction to go the couples counseling route. You need to do some inner work on YOU, and ask yourself why you feel so drawn to a relationship that isn’t working, and hasn’t been for a long time. You need to identify what you want, what you need, what you feel, what you like in a partner, so that you can begin looking for someone with those qualities. Right now you are trying to find mystery qualities in someone that isn’t as committed to you as you are to her. You need to do some healing — there’s pain apparent in your message here. And finally, you need to learn to love yourself, forgive yourself, and let go of the past. You need to be healthy, because health and wholeness attracts health and wholeness.