Relationships are so challenging, even with two people who are working hard to own their own stuff. And I hear you about the mismatch in health and stability -- that is a hard one. There are a lot of factors to consider in terms of whether to keep going in the relationship, but I guess where I've landed is that few things, to me, even come close to this one characteristic in another human. I really want emotional health in a partner, because that to me is necessary for intimacy and feeling safe. AT THE SAME TIME, our brains are malleable; our behaviors can be modified; humans are fully capable of growth or change. As long as someone is doing their work and really putting effort into it, that's good enough for me. It's another story, of course, if they're not even aware that their handle on emotional health is slipping. All this to say, James, I hear you!