I feel this too, Nefertiti! But you put it so brilliantly into words. I make exceptions to my modern parenting “lack of firm rules” rule on the one or two days a month when I’ve checked in with myself, and realize I’m feeling sad/grumpy/angry… whether or not it’s related to them. And I let them know, “hey, I’m feeling grumpy today. I know it would typically not be a big deal if I had to ask you four times to put your shoes on, but today’s it’s a big deal for me. Just giving you a heads up.” Sometimes they remember and act accordingly; sometimes they don’t, and they get the stern talking-to absolutely loathe.

I have NO idea if this is good parenting. #modernparenting But it feels like honest parenting. And that feels closer to what I’m going for.