Hi Atul,

A valuable question to ask is what the power balance is and what it means in the situation. Two men tag teaming a woman as she’s trying to make an exit, in their workspace, while they’re on the clock, is all kinds of inappropriate. One guy approaching a woman in a darkened doorway is also inappropriate. I can see how that latter situation could happen in a bar or a sports event, and how the female party may not be able to explain why it felt wrong or threatening. Another important variable is whether or not effort was made to actually get to know the person you want to ask out. Have you taken time to ask her about herself and her life? Does she seem interested in you? Did she ask YOU any questions? If you’ve only seen her across the room and rolled up to ask her out, she’s likely to feel objectified. Or worse — depending on the environment — threatened by your presence and forthrightness.