Can you trust your gut when it gives you the green light to forgive and move forward?
I once had a friend who oozed sweetness when the two of us were alone. I should have paid attention when she talked at length about herself. She shared her experiences, her family, her dreams for the futures — never asking about mine. …
What happens when parents manage their own trauma and focus on themselves
I never imagined my first few weeks of graduate school would feel like a sucker punch to the gut. Not because my paper-writing skills are lackluster or my teachers are awful — I’m getting good grades and I think of my instructors as wise, endearing, quirky aunts.
I’m in a…
Break your habit of giving up power
I have an embarrassing problem. A problem that pokes its tiny stupid head above the surface when I least expect it.
Recently I was walking my dog around the block, admiring the snowdrops coming up in my neighbor’s lawn. Suddenly both Ginger and I had to jump and scatter to…
How much is too much when you share about your grief?
On my first date following the death of my partner, a wavy-haired botanist gave me the kindest gift.
He had stopped the Scrabble game we were playing to come clean about his divorce. “For the longest time, I thought it came out of nowhere. But then I started working on…
For way too long, I responded to danger by freezing.
“The worst thing you can do is the thing you’ll want to do most,” the park ranger explains.
I’m standing with three friends under a tent at Apgar ranger station in Glacier National Park, allowing mosquitos to dance around my legs. …
I had to learn to say yes to chaos — and to myself.
Last night my kitchen got trashed. Completely obliterated. It smelled like a possum died in the oven and looked like he’d used every last pot, pan, dish and utensil to make his last meal.
Why? Because I said yes. Yes to my daughters and their friends making supper. Yes to…
How my 14-year-old heart’s desire turned into a lifelong obsession
The summer I turned 14, I might have perished of under-stimulation if not for the thing that happened every weekday at approximately 2:32 pm: the arrival of the UPS delivery man.
It was 1995. I’d been left to manage a cramped, manure-scented animal feed store that no one had dusted…
I’m a single mom, a full-time graduate student, and grieving the loss of a partner. What was I thinking?
My friend texted me a few days ago at 10 pm. “Want to be on a game show with my sister? Big prizes. The catch is, you’d have to drop everything and leave soon.”
I’m not a game show enthusiast; I’ve seen zero seasons of Survivor. When I read that…
I didn’t expect them to take my most embarrassing moment to heart
I was 14 when my parents decided to switch churches and go to a much bigger one a few towns over. I’d spent my entire childhood attending a two-room rural church with the same twelve people, nearly all of which were my grandmother’s age. …
Emotional stability is the sexiest quality in a fellow human being
It’s what we’re all thinking when we scroll through dating profiles:
“His arm muscles look extra bulgy holding that giant marlin on that little charter fishing boat, but what happens when shit hits the fan?”
I’ve read 252 books on dating psychology, have a Ph.D. in human behavior, and interviewed…
